Warmth.

From the moment I stepped off the plane...I thought

"well damn, it's cold!"

....okay, more than that-I'll give up.

From the moment I stepped off the plane, I wanted to cry like a baby. Hysteria almost left my souls as I was taking in all the lights and realizing that after 18 years of waiting, I had finally arrived home.

New York City is even more amazing at night. The street vendors are extra jubilant, there's this gal who sells Obama condoms which I always get a good chuckle at, and chills run up my spine when I realize what I'm surrounded by. Wicked, Phantom, Lion King, Billy Elliot, Addams Family...can I go to them all?!

I feel so whole, here. Constantly surrounded by theatre. Good food on every corner. The best grandparents a girl could ask for, with generosity that would blow your mind. We go into anthropologie:

"okay Kels, your budget here is 300$" by grandpa says.
This can't be real.

He showers me with gifts, he says I love you for no reason, and never fails to say goodnight. This is what I've always longed for in my father. My grandpa is one of the best people I know.

Behnoosh once told me that a role is just a role...and it has no significance unless you fufill it.

I had an interview with New Tork Film Academy. The director of admissions was so 'impressed' that he asked me back the next to audition. So I went through with that, today. He ws 'blown away' he said and he offered me a 3,000$ scholorship-upfront-minimum! My hands started to shake and I forgot what it felt like to breathe.

I spent the day with Emily. Haven't seen her in 2 years and boy have I missed her! It was so good to play and catch up and roam around the city. I am blessed beyond anyone's understanding. This has been the most fufilling weekends I've had....in almost forever. God always provides what ya need. I was broken last week, but the healing started this week.

Thank God for New York.
Thank God for brokeness.
Thank God for healing.
And thank you God for warmth. For your overwhelming constant warmth you spread through me-even on the windiest days in the city.

I am warm under the covers.
I am okay with all of these spelling errors that I refuse to correct.
I am completely, and exhaustedly...BLESSED.

And I am a child of so much.
I only wish to someday have nothing...and be okay with that.

Ya know?