Pull yourself together.

Today was horribly alright.
Today. Existed.

Today started off surprisingly...okay. Couldn't complain. It was a breath of fresh air to realize that it would actually be that way...okay, that is. And I'm okay with okay. Later in the day, I realized that God had other plans for me...than just ok.

This dream I have dreamt for ever since I was a little, curious, lost, and vulnerable freshman...was crushed. And when your dreams are crushed...you don't recover quickly. But I'm not promised anything...except for God's undeniably strong love. And that helps.

Tonight, my friend Casey picked me up..and we drove. With no destination, really. We went to this tea place so she could eat, and I put soy sauce in the water and took a sip. Don't ever do that...I dared myself. Then we drove again, and ended up at a park. The "falling sky" park? And then we went to her house and she burnt me a cd and when we popped it in-only 3 tracks worked...but that was okay. I like the first 3alot, anyway. Then we drove and drove and the sun looked like a "peach". And we listened to the same song on repeat while hanging our feet out the window, even though we were both wearing skirts...but it was one of those careless feelings. The one that makes you wanna stick your hand out the window and let it dance in the wind. The one where it doesn't matter if you're not speaking, or where you are, or where you're going. You just keep moving and listen to the lyrics.

"I could be a bigger man bigger man.
But really what's a bigger man?
Love is nothing more than an action...
So pull yourself together man, smaller man.
Do it for the bigger man, bigger man.
How easy it would be if we could really see the plan?
But really, what's the plan?"

I bounced around...but those are some of the lyrics. Mmmmmmmmm.
"sooooo good" as she would say.

She dropped me off, and I realized that I hadn't once thought about the letdown of today. I just enjoyed the simplicity of everything.

To make things better, I gotta talk to my other half. She called me when I got home...and I always feel happier after we talk. I say "other half" because we are always talking, or texting, or reading each others mind. Well, maybe not that...but she knows me backwards and forwards. She lives in Georgia, and it's tough. Distance becomes a barrier, whether you realize it or not. Sometimes you want to help the other out so much...but it seems almost unnatainable because you can't give them a hug and tell them "it's okay", in person. But it's just one of the obstacles to get through. I think that only an indestructable friendship could get through what we have gotten through.

God only gives you things He knows you can handle...yet He also equipps you with ways to help you through...like tonight it was good music, aimless driving, Casey, and my other half. I feel rejuvenated. And although this crushed dream will still carry some hurt and anger...tomorrow's a new day. And I just gotta pull myself together.