Shalom.

It was strange when I caught myself thinking about him. It was kinda nice before I remembered how much I hated him, all the same. I don't hate him...but the feelings stratteling the line.

We used to speed down Tecumseh listening to Ben Folds and burning insence. Windows down, minds open. And boy did I feel special to be so close to a college boy. Too close. He captures me the day we walked around the park in my neighborhood for hours, just talking. He told me something important...and I let him in. He came to every performance that year. Two nights in a row and he stayed until everyone left. I knew that because the first night he was sitting on the steps, and the second night he left a sunkist at the door. He planned to to go the river, and make a bonfire...he'd taken me to the river before. There was a tire in the sand a ways away. We made a bet that if he could throw this stick past the tire, then I'd have to kiss him. He did. And I followed through. Though I wish I hadn't. I let him in. I let him in too deep. And I'll never forgive myself for that. Who knew my best friend...sister almost...would hurt me so badly. So now they're engaged...

"Shalom" is the Hebrew word for "peace" or "a strong connection with God" or "hello" or "goodbye". I like that word because it holds such meaning. So I guess each day is a new one. And I suppose I should try to find shalom in everything. Even something as deep as my kidney.

Shalom.