When we were little on boring summer days she would create. One day she made me an amusement park out of desk chairs and duct tape...another day we made up a whole trampoline show for mom. And on special days we would go to the park and roller blade. When I went to kamp my first year I was so scared...and she wrote me a letter for every day I was there...
I haven't had a sister in 4 years. Ever since she left for college-she left my life, too. I lost my sister...my flesh...and mom? She lost her daughter. I would always defend her to the moon. Even if it caused me a bruised face, it was more worth it than anything. And now...I've got nothing.
I have to remind me of reasons to live. Seems silly, but it takes me everything to live. The past 3 nights have been hazy and I want to leave this town...this state...this family...this world.
She said I deserved it and though physical pain wasn't inflicted at that moment...I felt like half of the person I've ever been. I felt like the person whom I'd loved more than anyone in the entire world...didn't love me anymore.
Fighting for life isn't easy. And only God knows if I'll succeed. I'm so tired. I don't want to do anything. I just want to lie here and close my eyes.
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