365 days later.

It's weird what can happen in a year. A baby can come, scars can multiply, friends can die...it's weird to think back on a year ago. Driving with two strangers to the most beautiful destination and getaway for the weekend. Sitting in the backseat watching cars go by and being so full of joy that I was on my way to see my broken best friend.

It's like I remember every single detail. A year later and I still remember the clothes I was wearing and the way I fixed my hair that morning. I remember it was gore day in make-up class and I remember that I skipped my English class so that my roadtrip with these two strangers to the most beautiful destination could come faster.

Driving and driving for not very long. About two hours in and I find out the news. Praise the Lord that He wrapped His ever so loving hands around me to keep me calm to talk to my friends through their hysteria. Praise the Lord for our bathroom stop that allowed me to sink to my knees on the grimy floor and cry and cry so I could get it out of my system to talk to more people and tell them that it was going to be okay, when I knew it wasn't.

My mind was diverged and I played tetris on my phone. Getting the late shift to drive, praise God for that even. Getting that call in the middle of the night from my broken best friend who was in the hospital because she had tried to kill herself. Not knowing my body could physically feel so much pain at one moment, but still staying focused on the road.

Today I woke up and started my morning in a hurry. Did my presenation, skipped my next class, went home to do everything I could to not think about today. But I know that I should write something, I know that I shouldn't eradicate it from my mind completely. Because that's not fair to her. It's not fair to her memory. I know Lauren won't talk about it, I was with her till 4am and I could see it in her eyes. I guess that was enough to remind me to pray until my throat bled for her to have peace, today.

Josie did so much than just live and die. She was beautiful and her heart was that big. Just hearing her father read from her journal made me want to curl up and cry for hours for her absence. For the fact that someone with such a great spirit isn't here anymore. But then I realize that she is with our Daddy and she is safe and the happiest she'll ever be to just be with him. And she brought me and Lauren together. And I know that was for a purpose, and so I pray for her today. I pray for her family, I pray for all of our friends. And Lord, I know your purpose will prevail.