Father.

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

How can I persecute him for hurting me, when he doesn't even know the Father's love?

I have been saved.

I have been delivered.

I have been healed.

He still doesn't know what that feels like. He has never experienced grace. He has never been forgiven. He has never fully captured the capacity to love because he has never fully encountered God's. If he did, then he would have known how much he hurt me...how much he continues to. How hard it is to look him in the eyes, still, because of all the pain he has inflicted on me. There's so many scars that they would add up to far to count. 

God told me to love him. And at first I didn't understand why, but now I know. He is more broken than he could ever break me. So why wouldn't I love him? I hurt my heavenly Father every single day. Every day I break His heart and I run from Him, sprint from Him, yet still he ends up at the end. He scoops me up and loves me even though I strayed away from the cross. He catches me. He fills me. He is enough. He makes me realize this mountain and this valley that I too far often get caught between is really His hands holding me just a little tighter; just a little closer.

Maybe...if I show my earthly Father this love that I expirience daily...maybe he will realize that he's been held all this time, too.

Father give me the strength to love him in the hard places...for he knows not what he does.