His Love Is Big Enough.

Everyone knows the feeling of falling off your bike and scraping your knees. Especially when you're a kid, in that one moment you feel like the whole world is crashing down on you...besides just your bike. Your daddy comes and he sweeps you up and he kisses your scrape and in his arms, the world seems a little less heavy. You forget why you're crying because your daddy is there and he makes everything okay.

I didn't mean to crash my bike. I honestly just wasn't exactly getting the hang of how to ride it. I was really clumsy when it came time to distinguish my right from my left and so when daddy told me to turn left, I turned right and ended up crashing into the side of the sidewalk. I lay there bleeding under my crashed bike when I saw him running towards me. My heart was getting lighter with each step he took and I felt like my daddy was a hero coming to save me. He scooped up the bike from on top of me and then instead of throwing it aside, he threw it back down, harder...and right on me. I sat there bleeding and crying and he told me to shut up. He told me that I should've listened harder and that I shouldn't be so stupid. He walked back to the truck and I just laid there on the ground afraid to move a muscle. After what seemed like days, I lifted the bike off me with all my might, and went to apologize to my daddy. I told him I was sorry and that I'd listen better next time.

This past week God has been opening a lot of wounds. It's like every dark corner I've ever ended up in, I'm ending up there again this week. It's been mostly healing. Talking with old friends, trusting, and a whole lot of Yahweh just teaching while I listen. But there has been pain. Dark pain. Pain that I wonder why I think about or write down at all because it's in the past and I have been delivered. But I also don't want to ever forget. I don't want to forget the big one's. The moments in my childhood even where I have searched for reasoning and I have prayed to God. So I write them down sometimes. I dream about them and wake up sweating and screaming, sometimes too.

But on days like these where there is a chance for rain, and I am full, I will write about them...but I will feel okay. Because my Heavenly Father? He adores me. I know that He is telling me to turn left, but even when I turn right and I fall I know that He will lift up the bike, and He will scoop me up into His big, warm arms and whisper to me "I love you child. I am proud of you, my beloved." And that will be enough until the end of the days.

In church today we talked about being spiritually orphaned. Not ever having a mother or father who know the Lord, but how God makes it okay because He is big enough. And He made enough love to spread across nations. He made enough love for all of the widows and all of the orphans in their distress. He made enough love for the murderers, and prosecuters, and the liars like you and I are. Because of the cross, there will always be enough love.

And man...the voice of God is unmistakable. And when He asks of you something and you feel like you've nothing to give...He will meet you there. He met me there under the bike that day. He met me there countless times in my childhood and He continues to do the same, today. His love is always big enough. Always.