Remember.

Today I am grateful to the point of exhaustion.
I try and utter simple words of thanks but my voice is too shaky from receiving the grace I've been offered that I turn Shane on loud and I sing the words that come both out of the speaker, and from my voice box.

I turn the steering wheel, hesitant but glad, and I let the hot tears sweep my face because I know that I am madly loved, and undeservingly so.

I sweep all of the dirt from the floor and from the past with shadows and secrets. I don't let anything be uncovered for all this time because I don't want to admit that I was ever weak, and I especially don't want to come to terms with the fact that I still am. And with my Father at my side I will always be weak-but I know He'll be there to catch me. To sweep the dirt off the floor, and my sins out the door, and say to me that I am graciously forgiven.

I sing louder than ever but with joy, mostly. With joy that comes directly from the tears of my Heavenly Father and my earthbound one. I pray for their connection so badly that it consumes me to the point of forgetting about traffic and sitting alone in the middle of the road. But I give this to Him. I really do. I give all of this to my Saviour and my Healer because He is good. He is so damn good.

The funny things is I know that tomorrow I will forget. So Lord fill me up, place my hands in yours, and be my reminder. I can write 70x7 and Zacchaeus and Isaiah on my hand but it's nothing if I forget. Help me to remember, Lord. Remember even when it's hard and even when it hurts. Your joy overcomes; Your grace is the best; and Your love beats it all. I'll try not to forget. Ever again.