This morning I woke up and I wasn't at kamp. That was a tough realization. I went for a morning horseback ride in the mountains and soaked up the perfection of God's creation. Then I spent the rest of the day shopping and eating. Maggie and are coincidently staying in the sane hotel and we met up with some staff from camp at the best coffee place in the world; ie: Durango Joe's. We had the best conversation and then Gretchen, the video girl from our term, took us back to the hotel and me, her, and Maggie laughed hysterically by the fireplace. Then Gretchen left and Maggs and I talked for a while...and I realized I finally understood.
I finally understood what it felt like to truly and deeply forgive someone. Maggie and I are in such a good place and I feel God completely in control of everything. There were so many times during kamp when we would just pray for each other. Hold on tight and just say the words outloud. I felt like I had finally received the sister I'd always longed for. God is in our friendship now and I feel his presence so much. It's enlightening.
I have never really cried before leaving kamp. It's always been hard-but this time the goodbyes were harder than ever. My counselors and I were hugging in a circle and when Hutton started to pray I felt my body collapse and Brittney holding up the world for me. It was too heavy at that moment. Full of tears...but also full of God. I am so full that even eating seems like gluttony.
I'm not at kamp...yet I'm not quite back in the real world yet, either. I know it will be hard to be back home...but I'm praying harder than ever.
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