I'm not perfect, just forgiven.

Goose bumps form whenever I think about last night. Only 24 hours ago, when I felt the most peace I've felt..in a really long while.

The three of us went to the river. It was late at night and about a 25 minute walk to get there. We filled the silence with humming and constant stops so he could pick the stickers out of his feet. Silly boy to go barefoot. We finally got there and the sand felt so good sifting between my toes. I took off my shoes and walked across the stream. If you stood in the damp sand too long it swept your feet under like quicksand. I miss it there. The solidarity and the simpleness of it being an ordinary river, but a phenomenon at the same time. It wasn't supernaturally beautiful. It just brought me so much peace.

We hopped through vegetation to find the perfect spot near the river. We passed a patch of daisies and I snapped one off and stuck it in one of the holes in my knot hat. The boy said it looked like it belonged there. :) I felt happy. We reached the river and I sat sandwhiched in between my best friend, and the silly boy with no shoes. It felt right to be where I was. Alot of times we'd just sit in silence, and other times someone would say something profound or irrelevant. Jokes here and there. But we just were appreciating everything. The silly boy has the most beautiful smile in the world. He told me I have some of the biggest dimples he's ever seen. My best friend drew someones name in the sand. A girl he will always love, but will never voice it. Silly boy taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I see the crane in the water. I do. It's a beautiful crane. I can't even see it's distinction but everythings beautiful at the river.

I felt so safe. Cold...but safe. I covered my feet up in sand while silly sticker boy tells us his views on life. And how we are far too young too know what true pain is. And that we can never say that we have nothing...we live in America, we always have something. What a beautiful soul. If only he knew...

Todays message in church was about our life story. And how we shouldn't let circumstances or people or events drive our life. God, God, God, you never cease to amaze the crap outta me.