"Everything in life makes you who you are, but it doesn't define the rest of your life. You will be able to attain freedom, if you get rid of the mindset that you'll never be happy on earth, cause you will be. Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue."
I feel like I'm not moving. This morning, I couldn't move to go to school. Partly because I was up half the night puking my brains out. And no, I don't have the stomach flu. Stress. Worry. Doubt. Confusion. Anguish. It needs to be released in some way. I spent the last two days laying in my bed staring at the empty patches of spaces on my walls, that I did everything I could to fill them all in. With paper, pictures, paintings.
I have my own little ways to numb the pain. But they they are only temporary. The scars are everywhere.
"All your scars hurt you really bad, but scars are there for a reason, to remind you that you got through that pain and you can get through anything, because with a little time they'll heal on their own as long as you don't pick at them. Your wounds will always be a part of you, but they'll close. And you'll find your happy self again."
Love is so important to me. I want everything in the world to be swung away and captured by it. I want it to consume me, and I want to show it to everyone. Because even the worst of people deserve love. I just find it hard to look in the mirror and feel anything but disguist.
"You really, really need to learn to love yourself. You will never be able to take in the love of others if you don't."
Okay look.
VUALA!
I'm here.
Yahweh.
I'm here.
I'm weak, I'm weary, I AM BROKEN...
but by God...I'm here.
Swing me up in your arms, and capture me.
Captivate me. Captivate me like a real Father should.
I want to know what that feels like.
No comments:
Post a Comment