God tripped me.

God always has a funny ways of showing me things.

The other day I added a little bit of energy into getting ready. As I come walking out of my last hour, I see my ex-boyfriends, current girlfriend. She gives me the death glare, so I just decide to flaunt it. I don't even know what I had to flaunt, but I bounced down that hallway with all the confidence in the world, tossing my hair from my face, and simply giving this girl a smirk as I glide past. I feel her hot glare on me on me, but it's no sweat. So as I continue the long stretch of the hallway, thinking in my head-"boy did I give her a run for her money!"...I fell. And not just an 'oh hey I tripped' kind of thing. An obvious 'oh look at that girl who just fell!' type of thing. It was awesome. God tripped me.

Does that ever happen to you? You're going about your daily routine, and God trips you? Not necessariy what happened with me, but just a glitch in daily life, ya know...an abnormality. Things could be going peachy and all of a sudden your pants rip or you spill coffee all over your white v-neck. It happens to the best of us. And although some might be bad luck, I believe it could be so much more than that.
Maybe 'The Big Guy' is trying to get through to us? Maybe God was telling me to just..be me. Be myself. Don't try and be better than anyone else, because you'll end up falling face forward into the hallways as that mean-spirited Junior girl walks past you giving you a threatening look...BUT ANYWAY...not bitter...just having an epiphany!

I have an absolutely hands down awesome and blessed life. I say this with a hardened heart because life hasn't been easy, and it isn't easy now. But there are these rare and defining moments when I pluck upen my eyes late at night and review the day. Review the week, the month, the year, my life. It could be so much worse. It could be so much more difficult. I have a mother and a father, and even though my dad isn't a superhero and my mom and I don't see eye-to-eye...atleast I have them. Atleast I can say that I have a mother and a father and even if that love isn't so evident in our relationship...atleast I have that opportunity, that others don't.

I don't deserve my friends. They are too good for me, and I do not deserve one bit of their friendship. One second of their time. They are incredible. I have 5 people who would stand by me through fire, and two people who I trust completely. Two. That's it. I am an extrovert. I talk and I share my thoughts and feelings with people (probably far too much). But only two people that I fully put my trust in and only two people who understand me most. God has been too good to me, and they have been too good to me. I have a short fuse. The smallest things eat at me and I always feel the need to address them, or the hole just gets bigger and bigger. Yet something I learned tonight is that...I'd rather have a large hole in me...than to be disconnected or hurt the people who I don't deserve anyway.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don't take me for granet. HA!

I take alot of things for granted. Coffee. It's beautiful and wakes me up. Rainy days. They allow me to breathe and relax. Acting. It helps me forget about my momentary troubles to create a whole new world. God. He's my rescue from everything.

I need to eradicate all of these silly struggles I seem to create. I fill my head with the most abstract things, only to empty it upon capture of something unique and distinguishable. Ugh. Just when I'm getting to the good part. I could type it out...but my mind is like mush...and I'm not even tired. 12:30 to me is like 8:30 to you. Way too early to even contemplate sleep. And if you try and lay down, you know it'll be pointless. However, I'm going to go lay down now...to think about my day. This week, this month, this year. My life. And hopefully I'll fall asleep hopeful, and hopefully I'll wake up feelin' optimistic. I love my family. And I love my friends. And God has awesome ways of tripping me.